Make me a Bird
by ClarySweeney
Summary: There's something that's intoxicating about him. It's how he is brutal and strong enough to kill me but at the same time he is vulnerable enough to fall in love.
1. In the Shadows

Just a quick warning before reading: both Prim and Cato will be slightly OoC in this, but the Story will explain, as to why, exactly, that is. Also this Story contains mature and sensitive themes, so don't read if you're not comfortable with this!

And please leave me some Feedback and thoughts on this! :)

* * *

 _~ Prim ~_

"My advice: don't ignore the survival skills", the capitol woman tells us with a serious look. Most of the careers just frown at this, but I think that she is right. There are always quite some tributes that freeze to death or die from starvation.

The careers smirk arrogantly at this, like they are above such trivial matters as survival skills. And I guess that they really are. They've trained their whole live for this. Unlike most of us, unlike me. I guess there's only one thing that the careers and I have in common: most of them volunteered for the Games, as did I.

But I'm pretty sure that I volunteered for very different reasons. I volunteered because my older sister, Katniss was reaped. She's eighteen so this was the last year she could be reaped. I am only 15 years old and I also don't have the tessera stones – because Katniss forbid me to register my name to get them.

However, Katniss' name was way more often in there than mine. And she indeed got reaped. But I just couldn't bear the thought of her dying in the Hunger Games. She was the last chance our mother and my – our little sister had at surviving. And her life was worth more than mine, anyways. So I volunteered. Katniss tried to stop me, but once I stepped up und signed them that I wanted to volunteer there was no stopping it.

Effie was already then at a loss for words, because neve before had District 12 seen one volunteer – but we wouldn't just get one volunteer, we would get two. After the fuss had died down a bit Effie reaped Peeta Mellark for the boys. Almost immediately after saying his name, Gale Hawthorn, Katniss' best friend volunteered. To protect me. Peeta tried to protest, but the rules are clear: once someone volunteers, then there's no stopping it.

And so here we are, Gale and I. Participants and volunteers from District 12 for the 74th annual Hunger Games.

When the woman is finished with her introductions I immediately scoot over to Gale.

"Where do you want to start?", he asks me and I nod over to one of the survival skills stations – knot tying. He sighs and shoots me a long look but walks over with me to the station. The woman at the station is happy to have someone interested in knot tying.

But Gale is constantly sighing. He already knows these things, because he is very skilled hunter. Indeed, he and Katniss are the reason our families are still alive.

I used to be scared of hunting and killing innocent animals, so Katniss stopped taking me to their hunting trips after I've always tried to heal and help the animals she and Gale had gotten. But that changed in the last year.

I wouldn't say that I am as good as them – in my heart I'm still a healer and always will be – but I've gotten very good at knife and spear throwing. I don't want to think about the causes of this.

"Really, Prim?", Gale asks annoyed after I've managed another perfect knot in a row.

"Shouldn't we be looking for allies or something?" At this I just shrug. Yes, allies sound good, but – who? The Careers? No way. They would kill us without even hesitating after they've hunted down all the other tributes. If they would let us take part in the alliance.

And as for the other tributes – I don't really know them. I'm sure I wouldn't trust them, not after everything that's happened over the last years. Well, maybe even the young girl from eleven but I wouldn't be of really good use to her. Maybe I could hunt and keep us alive for a few days, but if it would come to the point of fighting against the careers then I'm sure I couldn't protect either of us.

I couldn't even protect myself. Not when it really mattered.

No, I'm pretty sure that everyone would be better off, if Gale goes around and finds allies whereas I die as soon as possible anyways. I'm no good to anyone, anymore, really. And at least choosing this quick death would be my choice.

"Prim?", Gale sounds seriously annoyed with me now. I want to shout at him that he should just go and look for his damn allies, if he's so eager in finding them, if that is what he wills. But I don't.

I try to sign to him that he can go if he wants to and he sighs yet again. He seems to have understood me because he says:

"Alright then, I'll go and talk to some of the other tributes. You try out some of the other stuff, maybe things you're not trained at, like archery or sword fighting. Just don't show off your real skills, alright?"

Before I can nod he's already turned away and walking towards a little group of tributes from 7 and 9 at the archery station.

We both know that he's not really here for me, he's here for Katniss. He thinks that if he can show her that he's willing to go to such lengths to protect her little sister, then maybe she will finally give in to him. I don't really see the appeal in this plan, though. Everyone can tell that I won't survive long – not if a wonder happens and I'm taken in the alliance or something along the lines.

I don't even want to survive.

Ignoring Gale's words that I shouldn't show off my real skills, I walk over to the spear throwing station. Who is he to tell me what to do anyways?

And in doing this – ignoring his suggestion – I can make another choice for myself. It may be a small one at that, but it is a choice nonetheless. I'm sick of all choices being taken away from me.

I grab one of the spears and throw it at the dummie with all my strength. It sticks in his chest, although not in his heart, which I had aimed for.

"Not bad. At least for someone like you and especially for someone from your district", someone next to me suddenly says. I jump out of surprise and find myself next to one of the careers. Cato from District 2, if I remember correctly.

His hazel eyes are capturing mine and he takes a step closer. I immediately scoot back. He's a good few inches taller than me, I barely reach over his chest. His blonde hair looks messy, indicating that he's already showed off his fighting skills. He also looks sweaty, which confirms my theory.

He smirks as he notices my stepping back and comes even closer. Our bodies are nearly touching and I can feel his warm breath on my skin. I flinch and scoot back even more.

"You're the one from 12, that volunteer. Primrose Everdeen, right?", he asks and finally stops coming closer. I try to block out how close he is to me – how he could just reach out with one hand and snap my neck. I kind of wish he would.

I just nod as an answer and he shoots me a confused look.

"So how come you're that good at throwing a spear?", he asks. I think of ways to answer him, but I'm sure that I couldn't possibly sign it all to him, he wouldn't understand all the different signs I'm making. I could try and ask for pen and paper though.

So I sign him the symbols for paper and pen but he just shoots me a confused look.

"Are you an Avox?", he asks, quite insensitive. I shake my head and he looks even more bewildered. He crosses his arms over his chest and studies me a few moments before saying more. The look he gives me is captivating. It betrays no emotion what so ever.

First his eyes rake appreciatively over my body – I almost make a run for it, then. I know those kind of looks. I know what follows them. But before I can even take a step, his eyes find mine.

They're wide and dark with something I can't quite place. Lust or infatuation maybe? But then it's like I can't tear my gaze away from him, because something in his eyes tells me that he won't hurt me. Not yet at least.

"So why are you not speaking?", he finally asks irritated. At that I can't help myself but roll my eyes – how does he expect an answer, when I'm not talking to him? He glares at me and this reminds again that he could easily get rid of me. I'd do better to stay on his good side.

He motions for a peacekeeper and tells her to bring us a pen and some paper and when she returns he hands it to me. I flinch at the touch and instantly free my hand out of his touch. He frowns and tries to look at me, but I don't meet his gaze.

I've done it, I've upset him. I know what follows now. The only thing I can do is try to keep him distracted as long as possible. So I grab the pen and scribble the words down.

 _I'm not really talking to anyone at the moment._

"Yeah no shit, I can see that", he replies sarcastically. He gives me another observing look, before asking: "Why?" His voice betrays no emotion whatsoever. Not even a hint of curiosity. He sounds almost bored, as if he's talking about the weather or other matters such as trivial as this.

 _It's complicated._

I won't give him more than that, I refuse to. Even Katniss doesn't know the whole story so why should I tell Cato – a complete stranger – anything? I know that it's dangerous making that kind of choice but I find that I don't care.

At that Cato shoots me another stern look.

"Well, if you don't want to talk, then fine, I don't care. But you might want to consider training with me." At that I am the one to shoot him an irritated look. He looks annoyed and sighs.

"The others have decided that they want you in the alliance, for the time being at least. Because you're a healer and having one on the team couldn't hurt. And it seems like you're quite capable of defending yourself, too."

How very wrong he is.

And how very obvious it is that he hates the idea of me being part of the alliance.

* * *

So please tell me your thoughts about this! Any suggestions as to what happened to Prim or why Cato doesn't want her in the alliance?


	2. Where is my Mind?

_Hey there! Here's a new chapter for everyone :)_

 _Thank_ _you:_ _ **Lizzy** , **District12Greenie** for your Reviews!_

* * *

 _ **Where is my Mind?**_

 ** _Prim_**

After I've finished "telling" Haymitch, Effie and Gale everything that Cato told me – that the Careers want me in their alliance and that Cato's offered to personally train with me – there's a stunned silence. Then:

"No, absolutely not, no way! They just want to use you, Prim!" Gale sounds seriously angry and determined.

"But it couldn't hurt. District 12, in the alliance, I've never even dreamed of this happening. That I get to live and see that day!" Effie just seems like she doesn't care at all about the fact that the Careers probably really just want to use me. She seems more infatuated by the fact that District 12's finally getting some – in her opinion – well deserved attention.

"I'd say give it a try. Find out as much as you can about their intentions and extra physical training couldn't hurt you now, could it?" Haymitch finally says. He sounds like he's thought it all through before.

"Find out what they really want from you but also tell them that you won't cooperate if Gale's not also part of the alliance. That way we can really sell the tragic love story between him and your sister."

Gale still looks annoyed, but nods anyway. It just seems that nobody really cares about my opinion, what I think of this. But this is what comes with silencing yourself. It's happened so often before, it's not really a surprise to me anymore. But it still hurts.

But then Haymitch suddenly turns to me and fixes me with a piercing look.

"That being said – none of this will work, if you're not willing to do this, Prim", he says and continues to intimidate me with his look.

But I'm really glad that he cares. Not only at the moment but also in general. Because we all knew, even before the reaping that Haymitch was an alcohol addict and didn't really help District 12's tributes because he was always too drunk to really care. That changed with Gale and me, though.

When saying goodbye to me, Katniss had repeated over and over fiercely to get Haymitch to help us, to get sponsors. And also potential allies. So when Haymitch didn't even show up to dinner the first night on that train, Gale and I silently agreed to do anything that it would take to convince him to help us. After I had stuck that knive in the table and Gale had sent that fork flying right through a decoration on the next wall, Haymitch agreed to stay sober enough to be able to help us.

As a way of agreeing, I only nod though I know that all eyes are fixed on me and that some grander gesture might be more suited to the situation. As Effie would put it.

"You're sure about this?", Haymitch still asks. The silence that follows his question is deafening. I just nod again, this time with a more focused and determined look on my face. Though I'm already dreading the individual training with Cato, the offer from the Careers has sparked something in me. Maybe not exactly the will to survive. I'm almost sure that I was never meant to be a survivor, anyways.

But maybe it is the will to fight. Though I've already come to terms with facing death anytime soon I'm now determined to not go down without a fight. I will go down fighting and if it's the last thing I'll be able to do. Because last time I was not ready to protect myself. I didn't even know how. This time? This time I will know how, at least partially.

After our thirty minutes break from training Gale and I step into the training room once again. The last thirty minutes are a complete blur in my mind. After I've agreed to Haymitch's plan, Haymitch, Effie and Gale couldn't stop going on and on about expanding and working on this new strategy. They really want to play the card that Gale's only here because he's so in love with Katniss that he couldn't stand leaving her little sister unprotected. Well, I don't think this is going to take a lot of acting for Gale because this really is the reason Gale is here. And the Capitol loves this kind of dramatic stories. But we still need my tragic story, as Effie said earlier.

I'm not sure they want to hear my real story.

"Well then, take care of yourself", Gale tells me once we've reached the other tributes. I just nod. He holds my gaze for a little while longer, but eventually turns away, going towards the archery station.

This time there are no instructions from the Gamemakers, we've already heard them this morning. For the next three days our routine will consist nearly only of training, apart from two thirty minute breaks, one in the morning and one in the afternoon; and also our lunch break, at exactly one p.m.

Which means that I have to face Cato for two whole hours.

But it's not Cato who's walking towards me this time. It's another one of the Careers. I take in her brown hair and eyes and remember that she's the female tribute from District 2. Clove, if I remember correctly.

She seems young, I would guess that she's around my age, maybe sixteen but not much older. Her face is a mask, it betrays no emotion whatsoever. I shiver as I take in the cold and somewhat crazed look in her brown eyes. Her jaw is set stubbornly but that's about the only emotions I get from her. And usually I'm good at reading people.

She has an elegant yet predatory gait and I wouldn't have noticed her coming towards me if I hadn't seen her, because her feet make no noise at all. She's as silent as Katniss and Gale on a hunt.

Good thing I'll be on her good side, at least for the beginning, I think.

"You're Primrose, right?", she asks. Her voice betrays her look and posture because it's so quiet and soft. I can't help but be reminded about the calm before a storm. I nod, as a way of an answer.

"And you're a Healer, aren't you?" I nod again.

"Then I was right…", she murmurs to herself. I give her an irritated look and she sighs exasperatedly.

"Your hands. They gave you away. They're a darker shade than the rest of your skin, because of the orbs. I know because-", she cuts herself short and shakes her head.

"Well, it was a lucky guess now, wasn't it?"

I'm not entirely sure what to make of her. She's a combination of all possible opposites. She looks like she wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone who stands in her way to winning the games, yet there's this edge to her I can't quite place.

It's in the way she tilts her head to a side now, studying me but not at all at the same time. It's in the way she's stopped herself from saying more about my hands and I want to know why. I don't believe her about this lucky guess. There's more to her than she lets on.

Well, there's more to everyone than you think when you first look at them. I had to learn this the hard way.

"Has Cato done what I asked of him? Has he offered you to be part of the alliance?" I nod and she goes on.

"Good. So 12, this is your decision. We want you on our team because you're a healer and having one on the team couldn't heart. Cato also said that you're not bad with a spear, either. Glimmer and Marvel agreed that it could be good to have someone like you on the team too, because we're not entirely sure that we can trust 4."

I want to ask her about Cato and why he doesn't want me to be part of the alliance. But I don't. First of all I won't break my silence for someone like him and even if momentarily wanted to, there's no paper and pen nearby.

"So it's easy, really. You'll agree to be part of the alliance and we won't kill you. At least not at the start." She smirks and her eyes glance with a crazed spark.

I'm getting more and more curious about her secret at the minute. This is not good, I try to remind myself. Curiosity already proved to definitely not be a friend of mine. I have to be careful. I can't get attached to anyone ever again. And while I wouldn't call this attachment, this – infatuation – about her is still dangerous.

"Any more questions, before you make your decisions, 12?"

I have two but I don't want anyone to know that I'm wondering about Cato. But I also want to know what's really in it for them. They can't feed me the story that they just need a healer on their team, they could easily learn the basics about the herbs in our three training days. There has to be something more.

Clove seems to be able to read minds, because the next thing she says is:

"You want to know what's in it for us, don't you?" I flinch. How on earth could she tell by just looking at me?

"It's alright. Your nervous look and that back and forth swaying gave you away." What the fuck?

"And besides, it's the most obvious question, really."

What is it with her? I know that the careers from 1, 2 and 4 all train before the games, they even have their own academies for that but I always thought that the careers would only receive physical training. The way Clove seems to be able to analyse people's thoughts and to predict their actions makes her the biggest threat yet. She even scares me more than Cato and that's saying something.

"Here's a little piece of advice 12: it's the Games. Nobody will play with open cards. So don't expect anyone to tell you what they really mean and want. And – be on the guard at all times. You're like an open book. Anyone could guess what you're thinking at any time."

I stare dumbfounded at her.

"And let me take a wild guess – that was not what you wanted to achieve when you decided to silence yourself?"

At this I really flinch. I'm no longer intrigued about her personality, no, her words repeat themselves over and over in my head. Because, in some ways she is right.

When I made the decision to silence myself I partially made it because I didn't ever want to give away my thoughts and feelings again. That was not the only reason, but a very influential one, given everything that's happened in the last two years.

But Clove doesn't grant me anymore time to think about this.

"So, what do you say 12, are you in or not?" And without really thinking about it, I nod. Her voice betrays no emotion when she says:

"Good. You'll train with me and Cato to get ready for the Games. Today you get to spend your time with Cato."

She's already walking away, when I realize that I haven't told her about Gale. It was the one condition Haymitch set up for this – and I failed to bring this up. Now, I have to tell Cato.

I can only think that maybe Clove would've been easier to persuade when I suddenly feel a movement at my side and nearly trip over my own feet.

"You really have to start guarding you're posture – you're as easy to knock out as a fly", a voice directly next to my ear tells me. It's Cato. His lips are mere inches from my head and I can feel his warm, uneven breath on my neck.

Just now I register his hands that are clasped around my belly, to prevent me from falling to the ground. I immediately go rigid and it feels as if my body is turning to ice. 'Get away from me!' I want to yell at him but I can't, because I can't find my voice. My throat feels so dry I couldn't speak even if I wanted to.

I can't get away, I won't get away, I won't be able to protect myself, again. He'll use me and break me, again.

Images of him come up in my mind and I want to scream. I want to die if that's what it takes to make the images stop.

 _He comes towards me – he violently forces my hand down – he smiles at me, it's such a beautiful, intriguing smile – he hits me – the sun shines down at him and he stretches his hands out towards me, it's like a halo surrounding his head – he yells at me that I'm a worthless bitch and can't even give him a proper fuck – "I love you, Prim"_

I want to scream and break down, I want to cry. I want this to stop. I want to die. I want to kill him. I want to disappear from this cruel world forever.

I

want

to

die.

"Hey 12 – Prim!" an agitated voice gets through to me. But when he turns me around and I see his hazel eyes all I can think about his him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?", Cato asks and gives me a bewildered look. I didn't even notice that I've started crying.

But this question is my undoing. The memory takes over and then suddenly – everything fades to black.

* * *

So please tell me what you think of this, I'd love to hear your thoughts!


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